Blog Post Are you your dog's friend/playmate or parent/ boss? This is something I ask all of my clients and a very large percentage starts to realize the root of many issues right there. Do you listen to everything they say? Didn't think so... dogs need direction and dogs need "jobs". Friends are there to have fun with, to enjoy, but at the end of the day they do not have any control over what we do. Point blank we will not do anything we don't want to just because a friend told us to do so.
On the other hand, think of how many things you've had to do even if you didn't want to for your boss or your parents. This is not to say that you can't be the "cool" boss or the "fun" mom or dad, but at the end of the day your dog has to no that you have authority and that you are to be respected. I think part of our Job as a dog "parent" is to make sure our dogs are fulfilled in life and control goes hand in hand with this.
The more capable a dog is, the better they will listen to you, the more you can do with them and the more enjoyable their lives become. Having fare rules is a huge part of providing a fun fulfilling life for our dogs. If you baby a dog and never hold them accountable for their behavior, you will wind up with a dog who doesn't take you seriously or respect you. How can you change your relationship?
It won't happen overnight, but it starts by making your dog earn everything, utilizing management techniques until your dog has shown you they are capable without them, motivating them and teaching them how to behave like you want them to. The new dog and the established dog. These are tricky waters to navigate for dog owners. As with many scenarios in dog training the best of intentions can turn into a big problem in a hurry.
Dog owners can just be trying to give their dog a friend or be trying to give their kids a younger more energetic dog as their current dog ages. The first mistake people make is assuming that their older dog is "nice" so there shouldn't be any issues. The second mistake is assuming it's the older dog's responsibility to deal with the new dog. As with any interaction whether it's between two or more humans or two or more dogs the "nice" one can still be targeted.
You can be the nicest person in the world and get stuck around a bully twice your size and have lots of problems. Or just be around someone who is very annoying to you and you just lose your patience. It always takes at least two to tango. Now your new dog or puppy may not be trying to be mean, they could simply be over excited, have no off switch, not understand how to appropriately play yet etc. Your older dog can simply be telling your new dog to stop or to go away from them.
Learn to read your dogs and learn when to step in. The vast majority of older dogs are not trying to seriously injure your new dog. Dogs use body language and different vocalizations to communicate with us and each other. Most of the stuff that looks bad to the untrained eye in these situations are actually called agonistic behaviors which means behaviors used to create space between dogs that are annoying or potentially threatening.
We should be seeing the signs before it gets to the point of air snapping, growling, showing teeth or biting though. We should step in and advocate for our older dog from day 1. When you see your new dog demand barking at your older dog to play, jumping on your older dog, acting obsessed with your older dog, getting to close when your older dog is eating or chewing a bone etc you should be intervening before your older dog feels like they have to.
I personally use spacial pressure, squirt bottles and dressage whips ( used as an extension of my arm, not as a whip) to separate dogs and provide space for my older dog. It is also our job not our older dog's job to teach our new dog how to behave. Until you know your dogs are safe together I never suggest leaving them alone together. Always use crates, gates or exercise pens to keep them separated when they are unsupervised.
Having both dogs obedience trained is crucial, but until they both respond well they need to be managed. Cues that are helpful in these situations are the place command, come when called, wait, boundaries and relaxation. Most often we have to start with teaching our dogs to just learn how to exist around each other before they can learn to accept and like each other. Management is crucial in the beginning as well as having good things like small training sessions occur near each other and going on walks together.
I also recommend picking up all toys and food dishes at least until the dogs become more comfortable with each other. WORKING AT APPROPRIATE LEVELS The idea of being at a certain skill level and labeling it isn't a new concept. We obviously have different grade levels throughout school, different ranks in professional sports, different belt colors in martial arts and different ranks throughout corporate jobs.
This concept as logical and common as it with humans is almost always completely lost when it comes to training our dogs. In general what dog owners do to teach dogs to stop doing something is put them in a scenario they can't handle or are not ready for and then teach the dog a lesson through corrections in that very moment. Though most people want to put forth the least amount of effort, money and time in to training their dogs, quality of training should not have to suffer due to human laziness.
Instant gratification and the learning process are not easily aligned. Most people would agree that a human is smarter than a dog- (we are or dogs would be running the world... )Think of how long it takes to truly master things even for us more intelligent humans. We go through 12 years of school just to make it to college and another 2 - 8 years to graduate with a piece of paper that says we are capable to do our chosen professions.
It takes many years to become a black belt, high school athletes would get roasted by professional athletes, a kindergartner would fail a college exam.... And by the way we are being taught by other humans which is socially way more normal or us compared to dogs having to learn how to behave in a human world. If we have so much understanding for ourselves why do we have so little for our dogs?
I think that maybe dog owners view things in terms of as right and wrong, good and bad, not necessarily in terms of skill or experience. When you look at emotional problems it becomes even more challenging and oftentimes a longer process. Kids that are shy for example and uncomfortable in social settings may never become comfortable. They may even develop more issues and less confidence as time goes on.
Putting a shy kid in a scenario where a ton of social pressure is put on them and then yelling at them for being quiet won't help them not be quiet- it'd make them not want to be social No matter if you are doing behavior modification, obedience or sport the Grade School Model should always apply. No matter if I'm teaching something as simple as sit or if I'm working on teaching a dog to stop being aggressive the work should start in "kindergarten" not in high school.
